Who would have thought three hours driving and an afternoon off would get in the way of going to a support group? Well, anyone. Including me. Maggies in Nottingham is a wonderful place but when your only cancer support network (outside of amazing friends and family) is based in another city it’s not exactly convenient. Wednesday was the sarcoma support group. I’ve only been able to go to one meeting so far and I found it really valuable but is it “losing half a day’s holiday” valuable? Sometimes.

But what I was able to attend this week was a “Yoga For Cancer” class at Central Wellness itin Lincoln. I’d first heard of these kinds of events not long after my diagnosis but that teacher never ended up actually hosting any of the promised classes. After a fabulous (non-cancer-y) yoga session there the previous week I was looking forward to it.

The first hour was a gentle yoga class with a focus on meditation, accessible movement and a long nidra section (sleepy time yoga, 10/10 would recommend). The second half was a cup of tea and natter type support session, bolstered by everyone being exceedingly relaxed from the yoga. It was a lovely group at the session — not that I’ve ever been to a cancer support event where I thought “damn, what a wanker” — but something about it really caught my attention.

I don’t think people living with cancer and getting treated in Lincoln have enough support.

Thanks to my special princess cancer all of my treatment is with the sarcoma clinic in Nottingham meaning all of the support available is also in Nottingham. Obviously it’s not the most convenient but if I’ve ever had questions I’ve been able to shoot a text to a nurse specialist or even have a quick phone call with the psychologist. I assumed teams in other hospitals and cancer specialties would be the same. It’s not exactly ground breaking to state the Lincoln County Hospital isn’t big enough for Lincoln but it broke my heart to realise how little support there was for these people.

The themes that came up in our discussions were different to what I’ve experienced previously. Anger, resentment, helplessness and a yearning to know “why” you have cancer. I’m glad I was one of the last to speak, it wasn’t a time to make my customary coping hole jokes.

There is no why. No answer that will ever satiate. Billions of human cells replicate every day. Some of them are bastards. There’s no human mind capable of computing the exact random happenstances that made this happen. This idea, that most causes of cancer are simply unknowable bastards, is something I found very grounding when I was first diagnosed. I had chances to talk through this with the sarcoma team as well as nurses at Maggies. For some of this group their first support group, some after years of treatment, was after a yoga session in an industrial estate.

I’m not sure there’s anything I can do personally to improve Lincoln’s support network but I will continue to sing the praises of Maggies and businesses like Central Wellness who host events like this.

To those I met on an icy evening on the Allenby Estate. You are wonderful. You are loved. You are deserving of care, kindness and compassion. And you, like me, are simply one of the unlucky ones.

​